


Fighting For Her Life

by deathmarkedlove_archivist



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-29
Updated: 2007-01-29
Packaged: 2019-05-06 10:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14639714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathmarkedlove_archivist/pseuds/deathmarkedlove_archivist
Summary: Spike can't handle watching Buffy slowly slip away anymore. He needs to beat on someone or something, so he goes to Angel. PG-13





	Fighting For Her Life

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters are courtesy of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.  
> Feedback: Please!
> 
> Set post “Wrecked”

Chapter 1

 

Spike storms into Angel Investigations with murder and a ‘wrong’ slayer on his mind. Angel tries to help.

 

 **Spike** We’re going to have it out.

 **Angel** Spike, what the hell are you talking about?

 **Spike** You just tell the Scooby sequels to stay out of this. It’s between you and me.

 **Angel** Spike…

 **Spike** Tell them now!

 **Angel** Guys. Just back off. I’ll find out what’s going on. He doesn’t stay like this for very long, but right now, he’s dangerous.

 **Cordelia** (Cordelia looked at Angel, unsure of what to do.) But the chip…

 **Angel** He’d kill you, now matter how much that chip was hurting him. I’ll be fine. If he really wanted me dead, I’d be dead already. It’s okay. I promise.

 **Spike** Yeah, listen to the bloody poof. Get out! (Spike picks up a piece of furniture and throws it through the door to the kitchen.)

 

Everyone leaves the two vampires alone. Cordelia casts one last glance over her shoulder as she leaves. Angel mouths to her “Go”. Spike and Angel start circling each other. The talk as they fight.

 

 **Angel** Okay, Spike. Tell me what this is about.

 **Spike** What this is always been about. This is about you and the Slayer.

 **Angel** (Suddenly, Angel is very concerned.) Buffy? What’s wrong with Buffy?

 **Spike** Everything right now. And your part of it.

 **Angel** I haven’t seen Buffy in months. What is this really about?

 **Spike** This is about you, you leaving. You not being a man, not fighting for her when you had the chance. And not breaking it off clean. Being the bleeding coward you always were.

 **Angel** What the hell are you talking about?

 

Spike makes a grab for Angel’s throat. He pins him against the back wall.

 

 **Spike** She won’t trust me because of you. You had it all. You had her and you wouldn’t fight to keep her. You left her, just like the others. I’d kill the lot of you if I could, but you’re the only one I can get my hands on, so you’ll have to do.

 

Angel pushes Spike off of him. He knows if he can bide his time, Spike will calm down enough to explain. After all, he wasn’t dead yet, right?

 

 **Angel** Spike, I am not going to talk to you about my relationship with Buffy.

 **Spike** Relationship! Is that what you have? You live here with your new life and your new baby and your new love, and you still think you have a right to her?

 **Angel** Spike, if you calm down, we can discuss this.

 **Spike** I don’t want to discuss anything with you! I just want you dead!

 

Spike makes another lunge for Angel, but Angel is ready this time. He grabs Spike by the arm, turning it behind his back, pushing him face first against the wall.

 

 **Angel** It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you this angry over something I’ve done. But I know this isn’t really about me.

 

Angel grabs him away from the wall and pushes him towards a chair.

 

 **Angel** Something has definitely gotten under your skin, and I want to know what it is.

 

Spike’s anger at Angel leaves him quickly. He looks at his grandsire. His eyes are filled with pain. As Angel moves toward the liquor cabinet, he keeps one eye trained on Spike. He pulls out a bottle and two glasses.

 

 **Angel** What I told Cordelia was true. If you wanted me dead, I’d be dead by now, so obviously you do want to talk. Why don’t you start.

 

Angel offers Spike a glass of whiskey. Spike takes the glass and sits down. He is silent for a few minutes. Angel sits in a chair opposite of Spike and waits.

 

 **Spike** She’s dieing all over again, and I can’t stop it. Just like I couldn’t stop it the last time.

 **Angel** You DO love her.

 **Spike** Why is that so difficult for everyone to believe?! Yes I love her. I love her so much it hurts. I love her and I love Dawn. I’m even starting to like those damn scoobies of hers. Well, everyone except Xander, of course.

 **Angel** Yeah, Xander’s not a likeable kind of guy.

 **Spike** That’s only because we both know he loves her too.

 **Angel** That’s probably true.

 **Spike** Pass me the bloody bottle.

 **Angel** Okay, now that you’ve calmed down a wee bit, explain.

 

Spike looks down into his whiskey glass. He needs to talk to someone. He’s needed to talk to someone for months, someone who understands the Slayer.

 

 **Spike** She’s giving up. She’s letting herself become consumed by the Slayer. And Buffy is slowly dying inside of her.

 **Angel** Since she’s been back?

 **Spike** It started before that. I don’t know. Maybe it started after you left. No, no, it wasn’t then. I think it started when her father stopped coming to see her, stopped spending time with her. If I could get my hands on him, I’d gladly rip his throat out.

 **Angel** I’m sure Buffy would appreciate that.

 **Spike** Don’t you see? She’s given up on love, on life. All she thinks she has now is the Slayer. She can’t get beyond it.

 

 **Angel** can see the concern on Spike’s face. At first he thought this was just about Buffy rejecting Spike, but now he’s not so sure.

 

 **Angel** Spike, tell me. Tell me all of it from the beginning.

 **Spike** First that worthless father of hers just disappears from her life. Then you leave. The whole thing with Parker-

 **Angel** Parker? Who’s Parker?

 

Spike tells Angel about Parker, the one night stand.

 

 **Spike** At least that’s the story I got from Nibblet. Filled in what I didn’t know with some casual questions for Red. After Parker, there was Riley

 **Angel** Now, that name I remember.

 **Spike** Did she tell you about the vamp whores he had sucking from his arm? Nice thing for the Slayer’s love to be doing. And while her mum was sick and all. But she never loved him, you know. Wouldn’t let him get close. That’s when she started shutting down. She never cried in front of him. Never turned to him for strength. I once told him that the girl needed a bit of monster in her man. That’s why it was never going to work. But truthfully, Buffy just didn’t want to let him in. So he bolts. The whole ordeal with Glory tweaked her pretty good too. Everyone depending on her for their survival. The weight of the world on her shoulders, as usual. So she makes the ultimate sacrifice and even that isn’t enough. Here friends rip her out of Heaven.

 **Angel** Heaven? Buffy was in Heaven?

 **Spike** (Continuing, like he didn’t hear the question.) These people who said they loved her, taking her away from the only peace she has known for years. Now, she doesn’t trust them either. But she won’t tell them. Refuses to tell them how mad she is. Has to be tough. Has to be the Slayer. Then Giles goes back to England. At least him I can understand. He’s more like a father to her than her own ever will be, but he doesn’t know how to be there and still let go. He was always trying to fix her problems, protect her from the world, instead of teaching her how to survive in it.

 **Angel** Spike, that’s not true. Giles has taught her everything she knows about survival.

 **Spike** He taught her everything she knows about being a Slayer, but he never taught her about being a human being. God, she doesn’t even know how to drive a car! She almost 21 years old, and no one has ever thought to teach her how to drive a bloody automobile. The only real connection to this world she has is Dawn, and that’s slowly slipping away.

 **Angel** And you?

 **Spike** Me? Me she treats like one of Riley’s whores. I’m good enough to shag when she gets a hankering, but I’m not good enough to be her friend. No I’m just the evil soulless vampire. Right now, she’s more like the walking dead then you or I could ever think of being.

 

“Buffy slept with Spike,” Angel thinks. His anger starts to rise, but he looks at Spike again. No, now isn’t the time. He turns back to the current conversation.

 

 **Angel** And you can’t pull her out of it.

 **Spike** I don’t want to pull her out of it. I’m not you, or Riley or Giles. I don’t want to fix her problems. I want her to fix them herself. All I want is for her to face up to them. She has no emotions, no emotions she’ll let show. I know she keeps coming back to me because I won’t let her hide. But when the daylight comes, the mask goes back up. I can’t stand to see her like that anymore. It’s going to get her killed. Again.

 **Angel** You always said that every Slayer has a death wish.

 **Spike** She never did before, but now... death surrounds her. She’s calling it to her. If I didn’t love her, I would have answered the call months ago. But somewhere out there, sometime soon, another is going to hear it.

 **Angel** Have you thought about calling Giles?

 **Spike** Yes, because Ruppert trusts me so much when it comes to his precious Slayer. He wouldn’t believe me. The rest of them are watching it everyday, and they refuse it see it!

 **Angel** So you’ve decided that killing all of them men that have been in her life will fix it.

 **Spike** I have to hit something! I tried hitting her, but the moment she started to feel something, she distracted me.

 **Angel** (Angel’s anger rises again.) You hit Buffy!

 **Spike** What did you want me to do? Sit her down with a nice cup of tea and ask her to please come out of the hole she’s burying herself in? I was trying to get a reaction out of her.

 **Angel** And did it work?

 **Spike** For a while. But she’s locked herself up. She is refusing to come out. (Spike buries his head in his hands.) I don’t know what to do.

 

Angel gets up, walking around the room. He is quite for several minutes as he thinks.

 

 **Angel** Maybe I can help. Maybe you are right. Maybe I should have fought for her, but I thought I was doing what was best for both of us. And you are right about the new love in my life.

 **Spike** Cordelia?

 **Angel** How did you know?

 **Spike** She’s the only one that spoke up when it looked like I was going to rip your throat out. Plus I caught the look you sent her when she was leaving.

 **Angel** Cordelia is good for me. I’ll always love Buffy, but she has her own path to follow. And I have mine. Those two paths can’t exist together. Cordy understands me. She is willing to help me on my path. Sort of the way you are willing to help Buffy on hers.

 **Spike** I sound just like the bloody poof I always said you were, but between Buffy and me, I know that I’m not the one in charge.

 **Angel** Can’t believe I just heard William the Bloody admit that a slayer tells him what to do.

 **Spike** Don’t spread it around.

 **Angel** That’s okay. I’m not in charge either. Trust me, Cordelia is a woman who knows her own mind. And she doesn’t think twice about bullying me to get what she wants.

 **Spike** We’re a sorry lot.

 

Both men take a moment to contemplate the women in their lives.

 

 **Angel** Back to Buffy. I was serious. I can talk to her if you think it would help.

 **Spike** I’ll try anything right now.

 **Angel** And I think you may want to try hitting her again. (Spike’s face registers surprise.) Oh God, don’t tell Buffy or Cordy I just said that. But this time, don’t let her distracted you. Keep on her until she breaks.

 **Spike** Do you think that will work?

 **Angel** Buffy acts like she’s made of steel, but she does have a breaking point. You know that. You may be the only one right now who can push her passed it. But Spike, you’ve got to mean it. You’ve got to stick by her if she comes back.

 **Spike** I’m not going to leave her. I’m a fighter. She needs a fighter.

 **Angel** You’re right. She needs someone who will fight for her. Who will always fight for her, no matter what anyone else says. Since its confession time, you know why I left?

 **Spike** The business about your soul.

 **Angel** No I left because Joyce guilted me into it. Right now Cordelia is researching day and night to find a way around this curse. It never occurred to me before to even try. I guess it never occurred to Buffy either.

 **Spike** No, the two of you were too busy drowning in the romantic notion of a love never meant to be. (Angel and Spike are silent for a moment.) Got a room I can stay in for a couple of days while I work out what I’m going to do?

 **Angel** Sure. Does Buffy know you are gone? That you’re here?

 **Spike** Told the Nibblet I had to take care of some business. She knows how to reach me if I’m needed. If the Slayer asks, she’ll tell her.

 **Angel** But she’s not going to volunteer the information.

 **Spike** Didn’t think it was necessary. Buffy won’t even miss me. That’s the bloody shame of it.

 

****************************************

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Four days later in Sunnydale. Buffy walks into the Magic Box. All the usual suspects are there. Something is bothering her.

 

 **Willow** Hey, Buffy. How was patrol last night?

 **Buffy** Light. Only dusted 2 vamps.

 **Willow** Slow is good. You could use the rest.

 **Anya** Has anyone else noticed the light load of vampires recently?

 **Xander** Yeah. Now that you mention it, it has been strangely quiet.

 **Willow** Buffy, maybe you should ask Spike if he has heard anything. Some reason for the mass exodus.

 **Buffy** Speaking of Spike, has anyone seen him recently?

 **Xander** No, and I’d like to keep it that way.

 **Buffy** Wil?

 **Willow** I haven’t seen him since Monday night when you two came back from patrol. Have you asked Dawn?

 **Buffy** Yeah, I asked her this morning. She hasn’t seen him either. Something weird is going on. I stopped by his crypt on the way over here and he wasn’t there.

 **Xander** Like I said, I’m not going to complain about the absence of deadboy jr.

 **Buffy** I know you wouldn’t complain, but Dawn hasn’t complained. She doesn’t seem concerned at all. That’s not like her. Even when Spike is avoiding me, he always stops by to see Dawn. And if he doesn’t, she starts to worry about him. Something isn’t right.

 **Anya** Maybe she isn’t worried because she knows where he is.

 **Buffy** What? Why wouldn’t she tell me?

 **Anya** Have you asked her where Spike is?

 **Buffy** No.

 **Anya** Maybe you should.

 

 

 

Later that evening at the Summer’s house

 

 **Buffy** Dawn, have you seen Spike today?

 **Dawn** Nope. How was patrol?

 **Buffy** Nice change of subject. Dawn, aren’t you at all worried about Spike? It’s been five days.

 **Dawn** He’s a big vampire. He can take care of himself.

 **Buffy** Okay, Dawn. Spill.

 **Dawn** What are you talking about?

 **Buffy** It isn’t going to work. If you aren’t worried about Spike then you must know where he is.

 **Dawn** Are YOU worried about Spike?

 **Buffy** Of course not! Now where is he?

 **Dawn** Do you need him for something? Is something going on?

 **Buffy** Dawn, stop being twenty-questions girl. Tell me where he is.

 **Dawn** But I’m only supposed to tell you if you need his help, or if something’s going to happen with Rack.

 **Buffy** I’m not in the mood for this, Dawn. You have two seconds to tell me where he is.

 **Dawn** Okay, okay, but you’re not going to like it.

 

Buffy gives Dawn THE LOOK.

 

 **Dawn** He went to LA. If I need him, I’m supposed to call Angel Investigations.

 **Buffy** He went to go see Angel! About what?

 **Dawn** Don’t know. He wasn’t in the greatest of moods when he left, so I didn’t ask. Told ya you weren’t going to like it.

 **Buffy** I’ll kill him. I’ll stake him myself. He went to tell Angel about –

 **Dawn** About what?

 **Buffy** Nothing. Give me the phone. (Buffy dials Angel’s number.)

 

 **Cordelia** Angel Investigations. How may I help you? (pause) Oh, hi, Buffy. (pause) Yes, evil dead is here. Hold on a minute. Spike! Phone!

 

Spike walks down the stairs to grab the phone.

 

 **Spike** (taking the phone from Cordelia) Thanks, luv. (He talks into the receiver) Nibblet, is that you? Is everything okay?

 **Buffy** No, this isn’t “Nibblet” and everything is NOT okay. What the hell are you doing in LA!

 

Spike’s body is on fire. Two sentences out of Buffy’s mouth and his body is on fire with her.

 

 **Spike** (In a controlled voice, he answers.) Buffy, put Dawn on the phone.

 **Buffy** I will not. You are going to tell me right now what the hell is going on –

 **Spike** Slayer, if you don’t put the little bit on the phone right now, I’m going to hang up on you.

 **Buffy** You wouldn’t dare!

 

The line goes dead. Buffy stairs at the receiver in shock. “He hung up on me. The bastard hung up on me,” she thinks. Buffy dials the phone again

 

 **Spike** Angel Investigations. How may I –

 **Buffy** You bastard, you hung up on me!

 **Spike** Are you going to put Dawn on?

 **Buffy** No!

 

The line goes dead again. Buffy cannot believe this. She hands the phone to Dawn.

 

 **Buffy** Call. (Dawn dials.)

 **Spike** Angel Investigations. How can I help you?

 **Dawn** Spike, its Dawn.

 **Spike** Hello, Nibblet. How are things?

 **Dawn** Right now, not good.

 **Spike** She’s a little pissed, eh?

 **Dawn** (Looking at her sister’s face) Just a tad.

 **Spike** Look, Dawn, is everything okay? Rack’s not stirring up trouble, is he?

 **Dawn** Buffy, Spike wants to know if Rack is stirring up trouble?

 **Buffy** (through clenched teeth) No.

 **Dawn** Buffy says no.

 **Spike** Good. Is there anything she needs my help with?

 **Dawn** Spike wants to know if you need his help with anything.

 **Buffy** I never need his help!

 **Spike** I heard that one Nibblet. I’ll take it as a no. You call me if anything happens, but until then I’m on vacation. I’ll see you soon, okay?

 **Dawn** Okay. See you soon… What? Oh, I’ll tell her. Bye!

 **Buffy** What did he say?

 **Dawn** He said to call him if anything important happened. And that he’d see me soon.

 **Buffy** And?

 **Dawn** And that if you had ever bothered to learn how to drive you could have driven to LA to stake him. But since you can’t, you will just have to wait till he gets back.

 **Buffy** Argh!

 

Buffy stomps up the stairs, furious at the blond vampire.

 

 **Dawn** Good for you, Spike.

 

*****************************************

 

 

Chapter 3

 

3 days later. Spike and Angel are sitting in Angel’s office.

 

 **Spike** I can’t believe I let you talk me into calling the Watcher.

 **Angel** Look, I agree with your plan, but if you want it to work, you are going to need reinforcements. Giles is the only one who will be able to help you.

 **Spike** If I can convince him that I’m right.

 **Angel** He agreed to come and talk to you. That’s a start.

 **Spike** Yeah. What time does his plane land?

 **Angel** About an hour. I’ll go see if Cordelia and Gunn are ready to pick him up from the airport.

 

 

3 hours later. Giles has arrived at Angel Investigations. After a small talk with Wesley, Giles is seated in Angel’s office. He is listening to Spike reveal his observations about Buffy. Giles is hard pressed to believe what he is hearing.

 

 **Giles** And you think that your plan will work?

 **Spike** No. I have no idea if it will work, but I’ve got to try. Ruppert, she’s slipping away. Soon, she’s going to disappear. The Slayer will remain, but Buffy will be gone.

 **Giles** I’m not sure I believe you…

 **Angel** That’s why we think you should go to Sunnydale. Spend a couple of days with her. Study her, Giles. Let your own eyes see what Spike has been seeing. Then we’ll talk.

 **Giles** Well, I think the visit is a good idea. Maybe I can pick up on something you haven’t seen.

 **Spike** Ruppert, all I ask is that you look at the situation with an objective eye. Really look at the woman, not just the Slayer.

 **Giles** That may be difficult, but you are right. I need to think about Buffy, just Buffy. It, well, it’s just so hard to imagine. I knew that things would be difficult. Being brought back like she was. But Buffy was always the one who put her humanity before her slaying. She made it a priority. It never occurred to me that she would loose that perspective.

 **Spike** Well. I can’t tell you anymore. You will just have to see for yourself.

 

 

The next day. There is a knock on the door of the Summer’s home.

 

 **Dawn** I’ll get it! (Dawn opens the door. Giles is standing there.)

 **Dawn** Giles! Oh my God, Giles! Come in. Buffy, quick. Giles is here!

 

Buffy walks down the stairs, a look of surprise on her face. As she gets to the bottom of the stairs, she just looks at Giles.

 

 **Buffy** You didn’t say you were coming. What are you doing here?

 

“No immediate hug,” Giles thinks. “That’s a bit strange.”

 

 **Giles** I have a seminar in LA at the end of the week. It came up at the last minute. Thought I’d surprise all of you. That’s okay, isn’t it?

 **Dawn** Of course its okay. It’s wonderful! And we have the extra bedroom, so you can stay here with us.

 **Giles** Well, I wouldn’t want to intrude…

 

Giles looks questioningly at Buffy. Buffy plasters a fake smile on her face.

 

 **Buffy** You could never intrude Giles. I’m sure you are tired after the flight. I’ll take your things upstairs.

 

Buffy grabs Giles bags and heads up the stairs before he can say anything to her. “Seen her for less than two minutes, and I know that Spike is right,” he thinks. Giles walks into the living room as Dawn prattles on.

 

 

Three days later Giles is on his way back to LA. As he drives he thinks about the Buffy he has seen. He tries to push his parental feelings aside and think about her behavior objectively. Giles lists his concerns aloud.

 

 **Giles** 1\. No hug when I first came in. Actually didn’t hug me till she started to leave for patrol.

2\. Insisting that she had to patrol every night, even though Willow and Xander had commented on the lack of vampiric behavior in the area recently.

3\. Didn’t spend much time just sitting, talking to her friends. Most days she just stayed in her training room.

4\. When she was around everyone she stood off to the side and didn’t engage in the usual bantering.

5\. She let’s Dawn run the house and their lives outside of Slaying. Dinner schedule and menu. Visits to the Magic Box. Invitations from her friends.

6\. When I asked her if anything was wrong, she just stared right through me before answering. And that it was just a pathetic no.

7\. There is no spark in her eyes.

 

That’s the one the really hit the Watcher’s heart. She had no spark in her eyes. Buffy, the real Buffy seemed to be gone.

 

 **Giles** Damn, damn, damn!

 

Giles never thought he would see the day when he’d agree with Spike about anything.

 

 

A few hours later in Angel’s office.

 

 **Spike** Well? Any change? Was I wrong?

 

Spike looked hopefully at Giles. All he wanted was for Giles to tell him that he was crazy. That Buffy had seemed perfectly fine to him.

 

 **Giles** Unfortunately, you were quite on the mark. She is… different. I should have paid more attention before I left. I should have stayed.

 **Spike** I told you before, you couldn’t have prevented this, Ruppert. It’s been coming for a long time now. Hopefully, we’ll be able to pull her out of it.

 **Giles** I hope you are right. As much as I deplore the methods, I do agree with your assessment of the situation and the possible remedy of it.

 **Spike** There isn’t going to be a half way with this. Ruppert, you are going to have to trust me with her. And you have to keep the rest of them away too. It’s going to take time to break through the wall she has built around herself.

 **Giles** I know. We’ll go back tomorrow night. I’ll talk to Willow, Xander and the rest. You’ll need to talk to Dawn while Buffy is out on patrol.

 **Spike** Dawn isn’t going to like this, but I think that she will see that it is for the best.

 **Giles** She’ll probably be the easiest one to convince. Go get your rest. I think you’ll be needing it.

 

 

 

The next evening two important conversations were going on in Sunnydale. As expected the conversation with the youngest Scooby went much smoother than that with the older ones. Xander was the last one to fall in line. Eventually even he agreed. Deep down, they all knew something was wrong with Buffy, but no one had wanted to admit it.

 

Anya would close the Magic Box for a week, the sign would say for inventory. They would take turns staying in the shop in case Spike needed their help. Tomorrow, Willow and Tara would buy the provisions Spike had asked for. Xander would change the door to the training room. Dawn would lead the Slayer into the trap. Everyone would pray.

 

 

The next evening at the Summer’s. Dawn is nervously waiting by the front door for Buffy.

 

 **Dawn** Come on, Buffy. We’re going to be late.

 

Buffy comes out of the kitchen, wearily looking at her sister.

 

 **Buffy** Explain to me again why I’m helping Anya with her inventory?

 **Dawn** Buffy! Everyone has agreed to help. Look, all you need to do is come in, stay for a few minutes, then sneak off to patrol. If you come back late enough, I’m sure you will miss most of the boring stuff.

 

Buffy rolled her eyes at her sister. At least Dawn had provided her with an escape plan. She didn’t want to be held up in the shop with all of them for the night. She wouldn’t even be able to disappear to the training room.

 

 **Buffy** Come on, let’s get this over with.

 

 

 

Buffy felt the tension as soon as she walked into the Magic Box. Everyone was walking around, notebooks in hand, writing down product info, completely normal for inventory. But something didn’t seem right. Suddenly, she sensed someone behind her. She turned around to see Spike. The shock of seeing him after so long caught her off guard. That was just the reaction he was hoping for. He wasted no time in sticking the needle in her arm.

 

 **Spike** This will only hurt for a bit, luv.

 

She had time to land one punch before the drugs took effect.

 

******************************************

 

 

Chapter 4

 

Buffy started waking up. She slowly lifted her head, looking around. She was lying on the mats in her training room. She sensed Spike standing in the corner.

 

 **Spike** Sleeping Beauty awakes.

 **Buffy** Spike, what the hell did you do to me?

 **Spike** A little something to make you more manageable, pet. Nothing to fear. I just want to talk to you.

 

Buffy stood up. She was still felt groggy. Looking around the room, she noticed that it had been emptied of weapons and furniture. It was just her and Spike. What was going on? She remembered walking in, seeing her friends… Her friends!

 

 **Buffy** What did you do to them?

 **Spike** Who?

 **Buffy** My friends. What did you do to them?

 **Spike** Nothing, pet. They are perfectly fine. Probably standing outside the door right now.

 

Buffy looked at the training room door. That was never a metal door before. She walked to the door, grabbing the handle. It wouldn’t budge.

 

 **Buffy** Spike, let me out of this room.

 **Spike** No.

 **Buffy** Spike, I’m not going to ask again. And I am not above beating you senseless. Let me out.

 **Spike** Can’t. Don’t have the key. It locks from the outside.

 

Spike hadn’t made a move toward her during the entire conversation. Buffy banged on the door.

 

 **Buffy** Let me out of here! Guys, come on. This isn’t funny.

 **Spike** They aren’t going to open it. Not unless I tell them to.

 

Buffy spun around to face the vampire hiding in the shadows.

 

 **Buffy** What the hell is going on!

 **Spike** An intervention. A personalized Buffy intervention.

 

Buffy ran toward the vampire, throwing herself at his body. The fight began.

 

 

Both Spike and Buffy were bloody and bruised. Once the fight had begun, neither had tried to stop it for quite awhile. With no weapons, all Buffy could do was hold her own against the master vampire. Sometimes having the upper hand, sometimes losing it. They both sat on the training mats, both taking labored breathes, even though Spike’s were unnecessary.

 

 **Spike** Had enough?

 

Buffy didn’t answer him. She was trying to ignore him. Spike wasn’t going to stand for that.

 

 **Spike** Going to sulk now, are we? Couldn’t stake the mean, nasty vampire, so we are going to sulk. Come on, Slayer. I have more respect for you than that.

 **Buffy** Spike, go to hell.

 **Spike** Don’t need to. I’ve been living in yours for weeks.

 

Buffy jumped up from the mat.

 

 **Buffy** What is that supposed to mean?

 

Spike was at her side in an instant. He grabbed her arm, pulling her to within inches of his face.

 

 **Spike** You’ve been walking around in your own personal hell ever since you came back. At first, I understood. Being ripped out of Heaven and all, but this has gone on long enough, Buffy. You need to let it go. You need to start living in this world again. And we are not leaving this room until that happens.

 

Buffy pulled away from his grasp.

 

 **Buffy** I don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know what you’re talking about. This is crazy. There is nothing wrong with me. Now tell them to open the door!

 **Spike** No, not till this is settled.

 

Buffy started to pace around the room. She eyed the door again. Several times during their fight, she had tried to break it down, but it was too strong, too thick. She knew it was useless to try again. She briefly thought about banging on it, pleading with her friends to open it, but she wasn’t into pleading. And she’d be damned if she did that in front of Spike.

 

 **Buffy** And just how long do you think you can keep me in here?

 **Spike** As long as it takes.

 **Buffy** You let your guard down for a second, and I’ll kill you.

 **Spike** I wouldn’t expect anything less of you, luv.

 

Spike leaned back against the wall, watching Buffy pace around the room. “A caged animal,” he thought.

 

 **Spike** There’s bottled water in the large cooler, if you want one.

 

Buffy walked over and opened the cooler. There was bottled water, some fruit, sandwiches and yogurt. Buffy looked in the smaller cooler to the side. She opened the lid. Blood.

 

 **Spike** I thought that you would appreciate the fact that I separated it from the other goods.

 

Buffy just glared at him. She took a bottled water, then slammed the lids of both coolers. She walked to the corner farthest away from Spike and sat down. She stared at him over the bottle as she drank. Even in the dimly lit room, Spike could see her eyes. Right now, she hated him.

 

 **Spike** Now that we have the first bit of fighting out of the way, let’s go over the rules. Shall we?

 

There was no answer from the Slayer.

 

 **Spike** Most of them you already know. I do not have a key to open the door. It can only be opened from the outside, and only by my command. We are going to stay in this room, together, until you realize who you are and what you are. After you come back to us, you will be free to go.

 **Buffy** I know exactly what I am.

 **Spike** No, Buffy, you don’t.

 

Spike walked over to Buffy, stopping three feet in front of her. He knelt down.

 

 **Spike** You know what you have become, but you have forgotten everything that you were. There is more to you than just the Slayer, Buffy. There’s also a warm, giving, incredible woman. And she’s dying inside of you. You are burying her alive.

 **Buffy** She was buried after I jumped off that platform months ago. I am exactly what they brought back. You know I came back wrong. You said so yourself. Nothing is going to change that.

 

Spike looked deep into the Buffy’s eyes. He always made her feel like he could look into the depths of her soul with those piercing eyes.

 

 **Spike** That’s not true. You started burying parts of her long before that. You buried her when your father stopped coming to see you –

 **Buffy** You leave my father out of this!

 **Spike** And you buried her a little more when Angel left you.

 **Buffy** I will not listen to this.

 **Spike** And you buried pieces of her after Parker’s deception and Riley’s betrayal, and Giles’ departure.

 **Buffy** You are crazy!

 **Spike** I’ve seen her. I’ve seen glimpses of her. She’s in there. And you are going to let her out.

 

Buffy stood up, walking away from Spike. He turned from his crouched position. His eyes followed her around the room.

 

 **Buffy** I get it. This is about you. This has nothing to do with me. This is about you and me and sex. Somehow you’ve convinced my friends that this is some great rescue mission to bring Buffy back, but the truth is you just can’t stand the fact that I don’t have feelings for you. I must be hiding something if I don’t have feelings for William the Bloody. You’re pathetic!

 **Spike** This isn’t about me, Buffy. This isn’t about what’s going on between us.

 **Buffy** There is nothing going on between us!

 **Spike** I’m not the only one who’s seen it. Do you really think that the scoobies and Giles would just take my word for this? Do you think that they would lock you in a room with me if they didn’t see that something was wrong? Get real, Buffy. This is a last attempt. They’ve tried it their way, and it has failed. They’re so desperate, their even willing to trust me.

 **Buffy** Giles? Giles knows about this?

 **Spike** He helped convince the other’s that I was right. He helped plan this little abduction.

 

Buffy fell back against the wall. All of them had turned on her. She should have expected it sooner.

 

 **Buffy** It isn’t bad enough that they take me out of Heaven, but now they aren’t happy with the Buffy that’s returned. Well, all of you are just going to have to get used to the new me. I’ll do my job. I’ll be the Slayer. I’ll protect the world. But I don’t have to be happy about it. And I don’t have to like it. And everyone, including you, can just stay the hell out of my way!

 **Spike** We’ve tried it your way too, luv. That’s just not acceptable.

 

Buffy stood up again. She threw the empty bottle of water against the far wall.

 

 **Buffy** You can’t change me.

 **Spike** No, but I can break you down, hope that the real you spills out sometime in the process.

 

And the second fight began.

 

*********************************************

 

 

Chapter 5

 

Over the next 4 days, a pattern developed. Spike and Buffy would fight. Buffy attacking Spike with everything she had. It would stop as suddenly as it had started. She would regain her physical strength. She would eat a little, drink a little. But Spike never let up. He would continue the fight with words. When Buffy couldn’t stand anymore, the cycle would start again. Twice Buffy had tried to change the rules. She had grabbed Spike in the middle of fighting, tried to kiss him. Spike had thrown her off of him both times. Angel had been right; Spike couldn’t let Buffy distract him.

 

The only peace for either of them was when Buffy slept. Exhaustion would take her, no matter how hard she battled against it. At those times, Spike would speak to those waiting on the other side of the door. Mostly he held brief conversations with Giles.

 

Their verbal fights could easily be heard through the metal door. It was a painful process for everyone. For the first time they heard Buffy’s true feelings about the life altering events that had taken place over the past 5 years: her father, Angel, the Master, Angelus, Faith, the mayor, Riley, Dracula, her mother, Glory, Spike, Buffy’s death and resurrection. None of them, not even Giles, could have fathomed the depth of her unexpressed emotions. She was filled with anger and rage. Both had been eating away at her. Since the first fight, no one had left the shop. Lives were put on hold as they vicariously experienced the war going on behind the metal door.

 

Xander wanted to open the door after the first day. He couldn’t take Buffy being punished like this. With foresight, Giles had hidden the key. He refused to give it to Xander. Even though he had his doubts, he realized that Buffy had to do this. It was building for such a long time. It had to come out.

 

Giles also accepted the fact the Spike loved Buffy. No one would endure this type of punishment without having true, deep feelings. During the brief conversations while Buffy slept, Giles could hear the pain in Spike’s voice. They weren’t in there and this was killing all of them. What was it doing to Spike?

 

The fifth day brought a change in the routine. It had been quiet in the training room for hours. All the scoobies were getting worried. Spike hadn’t come to the door. Was Buffy sleeping? Was she dead? Had she finally killed Spike? Giles was almost at the point of fetching the key. Then, they heard it – the sobbing. For the first time Buffy started to cry. She wept uncontrollably. No one had ever heard her cry like that. Not even when her mother died. It was gut wrenching. And it wouldn’t stop.

 

Buffy cried for hours. She was done being angry. All that was left now was pain and fear. None of them had realized that it could get worse. They had been wrong. Each of them wept their own tears for Buffy.

 

When the crying stopped, Spike finally asked Giles to open the door. He carried Buffy in his arms. They were both exhausted. Seeing this, Giles tried to take the lifeless Slayer from Spike. Buffy suddenly awoke. She clung to Spike. She wouldn’t let him go.

 

 **Spike** It’s all right, Ruppert. I’ve got her. Can someone drive us home though? I can’t manage the Desoto and hold Buffy at the same time.

 **Giles** Yes. I’ll drive. We will all come. Do you need anything?

 **Spike** No. I just want to get her home.

 

Dawn took a tentative step towards Spike. None of the other scoobies had moved an inch.

 

 **Dawn** Is she… is she okay? (Dawn stoked Buffy’s hair, lovingly.)

 **Spike** She’s going to be fine, Nibblet. She’s just tired. It took a lot out of her. But she was my warrior the entire time. (Spike bent slightly to place a kiss on Buffy’s forehead.) Let’s get her home.

 

 

 

Dawn came down stairs. She had helped Spike put Buffy to bed. The rest of the group was waiting in the living room.

 

 **Giles** Where’s Spike?

Dawn Buffy won’t release the death grip she has on his neck. She’s so tired, but she kept fighting him as he tried to put her down. He finally gave up. He laid down with her. I think he fell asleep as fast as Buffy did.

 **Xander** Well, I guess we won’t be hearing about what happened anytime soon.

 **Tara** I think we already heard everything that happened.

 

Willow looked at her lover. She was right.

 

 **Anya** Well, I say we all go home and get some sleep of our own.

 **Giles** That’s a wonderful idea. I’ll call all of you when Spike wakes up. He’ll be able to talk to us then.

 **Willow** You’ll call as soon as they are awake?

 **Giles** Willow, of course. Now, everyone, please don’t expect too much out of Buffy. She will probably be tired for days. She will also probably be embarrassed once she realizes that we heard everything.

 **Willow** Do you think she’ll be mad at us?

 **Giles** Truthfully, no. I think she will take this out on Spike before she says anything to any one of us. That’s what’s started this whole thing to begin with.

 

Everyone looked confused.

 

 **Xander** But we’ve always been there for Buffy.

 **Giles** Yes, but she has always been our protector, our savior. It’s what we talked about that first night. Spike was right. She let the line between the Slayer and Buffy become so blurred, that it finally disappeared. And the Slayer, the one she thought all of us needed more, took over.

 

Giles took his glasses off, cleaned them, then deposited them back on his nose.

 

 **Giles** This isn’t over. This will be fight she has to continue her entire life.

 **Dawn** But we will help this time. We won’t let it get that bad. And Spike’s here. He won’t let this happen again.

 **Giles** Yes. That’s another thing. Before we go, I want to make sure that everyone understands something. I’ve accepted the fact that Spike loves Buffy. I think he loves her more than anyone she’s ever known. From now on, he is one of us. No more treating him as an outsider. He has brought her back, doing something none of us had the stomach to do. I will never forget that. No one should.

 

All the scoobies nodded their heads in agreement.

 

 **Xander** What if the chip stops working?

 **Giles** Xander, his behavior this week has nothing to do with that chip. It has to do with the man who constantly battles the monster. If the chip starts to malfunction, we will find a way to help.

 

The scoobies took in Giles words. Each one knowing he was right.

 

*******************************************

 

 

Chapter 6

 

Buffy was the first one to wake up. After all, she at least had patches of sleep over the past 5 days. Slowly, she lifted her head to look at the man she was clinging to. “Who are you?” she thought. “And how can you love me this much? How can anyone love me this much?”

 

Buffy knew exactly what Spike had done for her. She had been so mad at him, at everything those first 4 days, but the crying had released that anger. What the scoobies hadn’t heard in the silence before she started crying was Spike talking to Buffy. Telling her over and over how much he loved her. Telling her about the pain, the heartache he had experienced the years before Druscilla had found him that night. He told her how that pain was the reason he had been a monster, not Druscilla. And how his love for Buffy had taking that pain away. He couldn’t stand by and watch her pain turn her into a monster. She had to come back to him. She had to let it go, or it would kill her. And she believed him. She had started crying, not for herself, but for the man that was holding her, because in that instant she realized that she loved him too. If he could fight the physical monster inside him, she could fight the emotional monster inside herself.

 

Buffy was at peace. Not the complete and absolute peace she had experienced in Heaven, but the peace you can find on earth. She was at peace with herself, at peace with her demons. She was the Slayer, but she was more than just that. It wasn’t the only part of her the defined her existence. She would be able to find peace and joy in the everyday living of her life. She had already found love. Everything else would come with time.

 

Slowly, Buffy released her hold on Spike’s neck. She carefully disengaged herself from the sleeping vampire. She didn’t want to wake him. He needed his rest. Once she was out of bed, Buffy quietly moved around the room, gathering items along the way. She needed to take a shower. She smelled like 5 days worth of blood, sweat and tears. With a last glance at Spike, she walked out of the room, silently shutting the door behind her.

 

As Buffy was walking down the hall, she heard noises from downstairs. Her shower would have to wait. Buffy walked into the living room, finding Dawn watching cartoons and eating breakfast.

 

 **Buffy** Dawnie?

 

Dawn turned around to look at her sister. Buffy met her half way across the room as Dawn ran to hug her. They cried in each other’s arms for several minutes.

 

 **Dawn** Ew! You stink!

 

Buffy laughed.

 

 **Buffy** Yes. I know. I was on my way to take a shower, when I realized that I needed to see you first. As soon as I’m done, we’ll talk.

 **Dawn** And Spike?

 **Buffy** My black knight is still sleeping. Try to keep the noise level down, okay? He’s had a rough week.

 

Dawn smiled at her sister. So much for Giles’ theory that Buffy would be mad at Spike.

 

 **Dawn** Giles is reading in his room. He’ll want to know that you’re awake. Oh, and I should call the gang too!

 **Buffy** Yeah, we should. But first, let me just talk to the two of you. Okay? We’ll call everyone else a little later.

 

Buffy and Dawn walked up the stairs arm in arm. Buffy turned to her sister before she walked to the bathroom.

 

 **Buffy** Dawn, I love you. Thank you for believing in him.

 

Dawn smiled back at her sister.

 

 **Dawn** He loves you, Buffy. I had to believe in him.

 

Buffy gave her sister one more hug before going to take her shower.

 

 

 

Giles and Dawn were in the kitchen when Buffy next came downstairs. Dawn was fixing bacon and eggs. The smell of coffee assaulted Buffy’s senses.

 

 **Buffy** Oooh. Hot food. Do you know how sick I am of fruit, yogurt and soggy sandwiches?

 

Giles stood as Buffy entered. Buffy immediately hugged him just as she had her sister.

 

 **Giles** Buffy! I missed you.

 **Buffy** I missed me too. (Buffy started to cry.) Damn tears. You guys will have to forgive me. I think I’m going to be doing this a while.

 **Giles** That’s understandable. You’ve been through quite an ordeal.

 **Buffy** I think we all have. Giles, Dawn. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through.

 **Giles** Buffy, there is no need to apologize.

 **Buffy** Yes there is. I have a very big need to tell all of you exactly how I feel. Beyond what you heard coming from that room. I love you both. I want you to know that. I think I forgot how important that was. But I’ve remembered, and I won’t forget again.

 

Giles just looked down at Buffy with love in his eyes. She was back. Dawn placed the plates of food on the kitchen island. All three sat down to eat, Buffy devouring her breakfast. They ate in silence. Once breakfast was done and the dishes put in the sink, conversation resumed.

 

 **Dawn** Spike still sleeping?

Buffy Yep. Checked in on him before I came down. Sleeping like the dead. Poor guy. I think I wore him out.

 **Giles** It was an experience for all of us. I know how we felt being on the outside. Can’t imagine what it was like on the inside.

 **Buffy** About a thousand times worse, but he got me through it.

Giles Actually, I’m surprised you are awake this soon.

 **Buffy** I was too, but I did get to sleep a little during the week. I don’t think Spike slept at all. Could have been that part about if you let your guard down, I’ll kill you. Might have kept him on his toes.

 **Giles** Well, we will try not to wake him. Buffy, Dawn said that you didn’t want us to call the others. Was there something you wanted to talk to us about first?

 **Buffy** Several things actually. I’m going to need both your help. I’m not sure how everyone feels about Spike right now, but I want to tell you how I feel. I love him. That’s not going to change. And I need everyone to accept that. I need to make sure he knows how I feel and that I’m not hiding that feeling from anyone. I don’t want the rest of them treating him badly, or saying things to hurt him, or hating him for what he did to me.

 **Giles** Buffy, we all talked about it last night. All of us know that Spike loves you. We have accepted that. And the way you clung to him yesterday, we all guessed at your feelings for him. You won’t have any trouble from me or from the rest of them. Actually, I think we are all in awe of what he did. We feel that he gave you back to us.

 **Dawn** And you know how I feel. As far as I’m concerned, it took you long enough to figure it out.

 **Giles** We also discussed the chip. If it starts to malfunction, we’ll help Spike as much as we can.

 **Buffy** Thank you. That was really worrying me. Along the same lines. I’m going to need everyone’s help moving Spike’s stuff out of his crypt and into the house. If him and I do it at night, it will take forever.

 **Dawn** I’ll head the moving detail. Not a problem.

 **Buffy** Giles?

 **Giles** Well, I never thought about it. Yes, we will all help. You can count on that.

 **Buffy** Great. Last but not least. I need to have a private conversation with Xander and Willow. Just like the one I’m having with you two. They deserve a personal explanation for some things. I need to tell them how I’ve felt since I’ve been back. An original Scooby pow-wow. But I don’t want to hurt Anya’s or Tara’s feelings. Can you make sure they understand?

 **Giles** I don’t think it will be a problem, but if it is, we will smooth it out. Anything else?

 **Buffy** No, I think the rest can be handled by the group. Dawn, would you call them?

 **Dawn** Sure. Want them here now?

 **Buffy** Whenever. Tell them not to hurry. But let them know that Spike is still sleeping. I don’t want them waking him up when they come through the door.

 

Dawn silently laughed at her sister.

 

 **Dawn** I think you don’t want him to wake up, because when he does, you are going to have to talk to him.

 **Buffy** I was thinking of denying that, but its probably true. What do I say? Thanks for giving me my life back?

 **Giles** I think I’ll stay at Xander and Anya’s tonight. Give you some privacy.

 **Dawn** Yeah, I’ll see if Willow and Tara will take me in.

 **Buffy** I don’t want to run either of you out. I mean, I’ve been cooped up with him for 5 days, but I would appreciate it.

 **Dawn** Not a problem.

 **Buffy** Now, I’m going to take a walk and enjoy the sun. Oh, and Dawn?

 **Dawn** Yeah?

 **Buffy** Later, we will discuss how you managed to ditch school this past week.

 **Dawn** Buffy!

 

*******************************************

 

 

Chapter 7

 

When Buffy returned from her walk, all her friends had arrived. Everyone was drinking lemonade, sitting on or around the front porch.

 

 **Buffy** What are we doing out here?

 **Xander** Trying not to disturb deadboy jr.

 

Buffy laughed. In turn she gave each one of her friends a hug, telling each one that she loved them and apologizing for any pain she might have put them through.

 

 **Buffy** I’m going to run up and check on Spike, and then we can have our Scooby meeting.

 **Willow** I think the last time we had a Scooby meeting outside was in high school. Wasn’t it Xander?

 

Spike was still sleeping in Buffy’s bed. She rechecked the curtains, making sure no light could get in. Buffy kissed Spike on the forehead, then headed back downstairs to her friends.

 

 

 

It had been a good meeting. Actually, it had been a great party. They all listened to Buffy as she told them what had happened inside the training room. For the first time, she told them about being in Heaven and about clawing her way out of her coffin. She confessed her feelings of anger and her confusion. Questions were asked and answered.

 

When it was over, they had plans to go to the Bronze later that week, whenever Buffy was up to it. Xander, Anya and Giles volunteered to patrol for Buffy that night. Willow and Tara were more than happy to have Dawn sleep over. And Xander, Willow and Buffy made a date to have lunch and talk more in 2 days.

 

Buffy was surprised and thankful for the positive response she received about moving Spike into the house. They would move everything that weekend. The only uneasy moment was when Xander questioned Buffy about the bruises on her face and body. She assured him that Spike hadn’t done any permanent damage. Actually, she told them, he had taken the brunt of the beating. He defended himself, but never attacked first. Finally, Xander had relented saying, “Have to admire the guy. He took 4 days of slayer beatings and was still able to walk out of the room.” Everyone had left around 4:00pm.

 

It was closing in on 7:30. Buffy had checked on Spike several times during the day; he was still out. She was still dreading her talk with him, but she was getting lonely. “Well, might as well wake him up, she thought.”

 

Buffy stared down at the vampire in her bed. Thinking of everything he had done for her and for Dawn made her heart swell with love. An evil thought flashed through her brain. “If you have to wake him up, wake him up happy.”

 

Buffy quickly undressed. She slid naked between the sheets. Maybe she should just cuddle with him for a while. Buffy leaned over Spike to give him a kiss. Suddenly, the one sided kiss changed, as a very rested vampire awoke. Spike grabbed Buffy to him, devouring her mouth. Buffy scurried up on top of his body, trying to get closer. Spike moaned as his hands ran down the length of her naked back. Buffy broke the kiss.

 

 **Buffy** Morning, sunshine.

 **Spike** How long have you been awake?

 

Buffy started to pull Spike’s shirt over his head, while his hands continued their exploration of her back.

 

 **Buffy** Since 10:00 this morning.

 **Spike** What time is it now?

 **Buffy** About 7:30pm.

 **Spike** Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?

 **Buffy** I thought the hero deserved his rest.

 

Buffy had finally gotten Spike’s shirt off. She was enjoying the feel of her warm hands against his cool chest.

 

 **Buffy** You feel wonderful.

 

Buffy leaned in to kiss Spike again, but he turned his head away from her.

 

 **Spike** Buffy-luv, we need to talk.

 **Buffy** Talk later, feel now.

 **Spike** Buffy!

 

Buffy moved her hands from Spike’s chest, placing one on each side of his face. She turned him to her until she was looking straight into his deep blue eyes.

 

 **Buffy** Spike. We can discuss everything later. I’m not trying to run from it, but right now I need you. I want you. I love you.

 

Spike looked lovingly into the Slayer’s eyes. He couldn’t believe she had actually said the words. She loved him! Spike knew this was as close to Heaven as he would ever get. Maybe the talk could wait.

 

 **Spike** Dawn?

 **Buffy** Willow’s

 **Spike** Giles?

 **Buffy** Xander’s

 

Spike flipped Buffy onto her back. Buffy sighed. She loved it when she won!

 

The End


End file.
